Ownership

We used to own stuff. Not only that, if the stuff broke, we’d either have it fixed or fix it ourselves.

Take shoes, for example. Nowadays you can get a very nice pair of shoes for $100. If you look at inflation charts, you will find that that translates to about $10 in 1965 money, which would also have gotten you a nice pair of shoes. Superficially it looks like shoes have more or less maintained their value over the years, but there are significant differences.

When those 1965 brogans wore out, you took them down the street to the shoemaker’s shop, and got new soles and/or heels, your choice, put on for a fraction of the replacement cost. Down the line, repeat the process, and your shoes could last for many years if you took care of them.

Now, that same money gets you a spiffy new pair of technicolor trainers, with memory foam insoles and guaranteed no-slip outsoles, massively engineered for foot comfort so complete you barely feel the pavement. When they wear out in about a year or two, you can — toss them.

Of course, they had something like that in 1965. We called them sneakers: minimalist soles and canvas tops. When the cotton laces broke (often) we tied them back together with a square knot, took care that the knot landed just past an eyelet and carried on. You could repeat this process until you only had four or five inches of lace left. They cost considerably less than $10 and were good for a summer or two. If you’re comparing sneakers to trainers, we get a much better deal now than we did then, except all the shoes available nowadays are just variations on trainers, with fancier models gussied up with leather and what-not, but all unrepairable. There are no more shoe shops, or very few, as a result.

Back in the 60s we used to complain about planned obsolescence, the notion that manufacturers designed things to wear out on a schedule, to ensure a future market. We’ve learned a lot since then. No need to plan obsolescence, just stop caring about whether the things you make last.

That’s just an example of things we own outright, but that’s getting to be rarer and rarer, with the computer industry leading the way. In the digital world, you own very little. True, the hardware is yours, but if you want to do anything with it, you buy a subscription. Ten bucks a month here, ten bucks there, and you wonder where the money goes. Some years ago, there was a story about a guy who wanted to leave his iTunes collection to his son. Apple sued, and the court ruled he did not own any of it. Case closed.

This model has not been lost on the rest of the economy. It’s the ultimate irony: the deeper we get into market fundamentalist ideology, the less we actually own. It’s the root of the vast income gaps we see now.

Turns out the ancient alchemists were on the wrong track. The best way to turn lead into gold is to convince someone they need the lead, and they will give you the gold in exchange. Better yet, take the gold and just let them use the lead for a while.

About those golden years…

Something many people don’t know about me is that, years ago, I was a young person. Back then, I saw the world in terms of unlimited possibility, if only I could overcome the proliferation of totally unfair obstacles it was throwing at me. I was idealistic. If something wasn’t good enough, then, dammit, get rid of it, and if you didn’t agree with me, then it was time to leave you behind to fend for your sorry self.

Now that I’m old, I’m not much different, except that I keep my more misanthropic thoughts to myself. I imagine I’ve gotten smarter about life, but how can you trust someone who has always thought that anyway?

I hear a lot of people my age (old) say they still feel like they’re in their 30s, or 40s if they’re 10 years older than I am, which is not at all what we expected to feel like. When you’re young you imagine old people as a kind of separate species. You imagine them sitting around on benches, either thinking wise and kind thoughts or crabbing about everything, when you’re not seeing them drooling their walkers through the corridors of a nursing home. The wise and kind elderly are usually dead, the better to be idealized; the crabby type lives in your neighborhood to be seen every day. The old fart yelling at kids to get off his lawn has become a trope, but I’d venture to say that sort of behavior is more characteristic of the young and up-and-coming. A bit of projection?

Anyhow, my young friends, I’m here to tell you exactly what being old really feels like.

It feels exactly like being young. And recovering from a car wreck.

A Christmas message

Philosophers, mystics, and even cognitive scientists seem to agree that there is no reality, that it’s all an illusion.  The vague, ambiguous category of persons called neuroscientists will take it a step further, and insist that consciousness itself is an illusion.  If you ask them what, exactly, is it that’s having the illusion, if not a consciousness, then you’re subjected to that look that combines disappointment, concern, and pity.

And yet, If I’m driving my illusion down the road, I can’t steer it into your illusion coming the other way without resulting in the two of us having substantially the same illusion about the outcome.

On the other hand, if the whole thing is my illusion only, conscious or not, I am, in effect, God. In which case I refuse to generate a Son just to send him down for you to torture to death and then coopt for your own purposes.

Merry Christmas.

The sanitary hug

I’m sure you’ve seen it; you very likely have done it.  If  you do it habitually (obsessively), you may not be amused by this post.  If so, you’re excused.  Just be back by the next one.

It’s the sanitary hug.  It can barely be called a hug; it’s brief, with as few points of contact as possible, faces and eyes averted.  Minimal exchange of anything, no breath, no eye contact, and certainly no (shudder) skin contact.  I’ve even seen people trying to hug one another while standing as much as three feet apart, so as to minimize even accidental contact below the shoulders.

Predictably, men have made the most of this.  In the first place, such minimalism gives them permission to hug at all, which they gratefully accept as an opportunity to show unexpected tenderness while remaining as manly as possible.  Typically, not content with such an inherently vulnerable gesture, they have improved it by turning it into chest-bumping and back-slapping when done between themselves.

“Look, dammit, my vulnerable side,” they seem to be saying, daring anyone to question it, or anything else.  How did this absurd situation arise in the first place?

It’s classic cognitive dissonance.  Our cultural swing toward openness and empathy has outpaced our lizard brains.

This is bad for men, since for many of us, those are the only brains we have.

How to be a proper fool

But the fool on the hill
Sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head
See the world spinning round

To be the best, most complete fool you can be, follow these steps faithfully, in the proper order

  1. Read voraciously, everything you can get your hands on, sacred or profane, it doesn’t matter, just be a sponge.
  2. Apply your best critical thinking skills to separate the wheat from the chaff.
  3. Seek out the most knowledgeable people in every field, make their acquaintance, and don’t be shy about disagreeing with them.
  4. Examine the world’s religions, from the simplest animism to the most convoluted monotheism.  Talk to both believers and infidels, converts and apostates.
  5. Travel as extensively as possible, “trying on” various cultures, sorting through the good and the bad aspects of each.
  6. Avoid making pronouncements about your conclusions, realizing your remarks will be misinterpreted at best, and turned to evil ends at worst.
  7. Having done all of that, isolate yourself from others, to avoid contamination of your insights.
  8. Practice deep meditation and introspection.
  9. Realize that after a lifetime of learning and accumulating wisdom, you have shared all of this with no one, from a false modesty arising from a deep-seated fear of being wrong.
  10. Die.