I’m sure you’ve seen it; you very likely have done it. If you do it habitually (obsessively), you may not be amused by this post. If so, you’re excused. Just be back by the next one.
It’s the sanitary hug. It can barely be called a hug; it’s brief, with as few points of contact as possible, faces and eyes averted. Minimal exchange of anything, no breath, no eye contact, and certainly no (shudder) skin contact. I’ve even seen people trying to hug one another while standing as much as three feet apart, so as to minimize even accidental contact below the shoulders.
Predictably, men have made the most of this. In the first place, such minimalism gives them permission to hug at all, which they gratefully accept as an opportunity to show unexpected tenderness while remaining as manly as possible. Typically, not content with such an inherently vulnerable gesture, they have improved it by turning it into chest-bumping and back-slapping when done between themselves.
“Look, dammit, my vulnerable side,” they seem to be saying, daring anyone to question it, or anything else. How did this absurd situation arise in the first place?
It’s classic cognitive dissonance. Our cultural swing toward openness and empathy has outpaced our lizard brains.
This is bad for men, since for many of us, those are the only brains we have.