How to become a Facebook sensation in 10 easy steps

Another in my acclaimed series of how-to articles.

  1. Publish a blog alleging something preposterous, like “Walmart Paper Towels Used in Obamacare Plot to Cover up Monsanto Assassination of Hugo Chávez,”
  2. Arrange for a friend with Photoshop to have Batman saying it while slapping Robin.
  3. Post the result on Facebook, with a caption, like, “Wow!  Just…wow!” or something similar.
  4. When someone points out that it is, in fact, utterly ridiculous, accuse that person of censorship.
  5. Share your own post, asking why the mainstream media have been ignoring this story.
  6. When lulzsec offers to crash the FBI website in protest, share that, too.
  7. When Fox News calls, tell them you got the story from Huffington Post.
  8. When Huffington Post calls, tell them you got the story from Fox News.
  9. When interest wanes, pretend Facebook tried to shut you down.
  10. Start a petition against Facebook.