Home » Possibly true » Poll: 49% of Americans are in the minority

Poll: 49% of Americans are in the minority

Here are the results of the latest Nosie-Snupes poll:

  • 78% of Americans believe that if only we got rid of the intelligence community, bad people would leave us alone.
  • 56% believe that if we stopped regulating businesses, everything would be cheaper and better.
  • 42% believe criminals would have a change of heart and go straight, if only there were less government.
  • 60% believe the Tooth Fairy’s cousin Louie fills potholes for free at night.
  • 42% believe the government wants to take away their ED medications.
  • 39% think guns make them irresistible to the opposite sex.
  • 48% think guns make them irresistible to the same sex.
  • 98% believe that government aid that they get is only sensible.
  • 98% believe that government aid that someone else gets is graft and corruption.

That’s the latest from America’s chief poll-takers, the Nosie-Snupes Foundation, a subsidiary of WTF Industries.

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