The world of biblical archaeology is reeling from the announcement of a major discovery by a team from the Musée des Choses Incroyable, led by Professor Marcel Douteuse. In a cave at Bar al-Kabob near the Dead Sea, the team has discovered a scroll, reproduced below, dated to the early first millennium BCE by context. It appears to be an alternate version of the Book of Genesis, in particular, the section relating to the creation of Man.
Here’s a translation:
After God had made the earth and all the mountains, He found that He had some dust left over. This He fashioned into a likeness of Himself, and breathed life into it. Then He saw that there was still some dust left over. This He made into another likeness of Himself, and breathed life into it, and looked upon His works, and saw that they were good, and called them Adam and Steve.
I have enough Hebrew to know that this scroll does not say what Professor Douteuse claims it does. He obviously lives in his head and probably wouldn’t recognize a gay couple if he stumbled over one in bed.
Actually, he has, and did indeed recognize them from the Walgreen’s.